Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize