You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
