Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
