he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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