I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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