we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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