Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
