if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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