"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
