she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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