what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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