my sisters under your porch take her home
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
