I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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