Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
