Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
