I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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