in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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