i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Randomize
