Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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