Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
