great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Randomize
