There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
