return my video game
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize