is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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