their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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