the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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