Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
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So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
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Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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