Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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