Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
