how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
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