You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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