it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
