Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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