Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
