I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
