In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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