his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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