i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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