he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
