You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
