Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
this boner is exhausting
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Last time i carry you out of a forest
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
