were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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