Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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