Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
