Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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