Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
