If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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