How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize