i would punch a child for taco bell
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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