So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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