I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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