There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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