She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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