would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
