you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
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