Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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