My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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