If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
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If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
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We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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