I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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