two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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