You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
