Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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