There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
