Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize