Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize