Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
