Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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