Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
