I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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