my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize