I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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