a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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