I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
