just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
