the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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