so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
