so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
